Moms vs Hot Wheels

Well, it has happened. I've officially been insulted as a mother--and as a mother to a boy.

No, E is not big enough to play with Hot Wheels. But I promise you, I had every intention of sitting on the floor with him, setting up tracks, and playing with Hot Wheels for a few hours (like while dinner is in the oven...or Crock Pot.... or still at Pizza Hut waiting to be picked up by K). But now I've been insulted and I think I'll spend my money on die cast stock cars for E (like the totally awesome 48 Jimmie Johnson, navy blue and white, Kobalt Tools/Lowes car!) to play with.

For those of you who don't know what's going on, here's the 411.

Mattel's sales are down when it comes to Hot Wheels. They haven't seen growth in the US in three years. Which is a big deal, obviously, when you have a product that usually sees continual growth each quarter. But of COURSE the completely arrogant, narcissistic, male chauvinist pigs researchers at Mattel don't think their products are to blame. And of course they don't think the economy is to blame for sales being down on toys.

You know who they blamed? YOU, mom.

Mattel vice president, Matt Petersen, came to the conclusion that moms just don't understand how to play with Hot Wheels.  Petersen states, mom “has never played with them. She doesn't get why cars, engines, and all the shapes and crashing and smashing are so cool.” 

I'm sorry, but you have to be pretty stupid to not understand that little boys are destructive. So immediately the crashing and smashing makes sense to me.

And what? Moms don't understand why cars and engines are cool? Ooooooooooooooook buddy. Let's have a talk. Moms are FEMALE, in which case you are saying that FEMALES don't understand cars and engines. I may be a chick, and I might not know every component of an engine and what it does; but I know about cars! And I sure as hell know a lot more about cars than some GUYS know!! I have spent plenty of Sunday mornings watching Trucks! and Extreme 4x4 on the Speed Channel. And so far, 26.5 years watching NASCAR and understanding stock cars and how they operate. I might not be a Chad Knaus (I guess only NASCAR fans will get that joke), but if I hear Jimmie over his scanner talk about his car being too loose into a turn or too tight off a corner-- I can predict what chassis, wedge or track bar adjustment needs to be made! ANNNDDDD when my friends and I were making fun of strippers and the stage names they choose, I said my name would be chassis if I were a stripper! (No, mom... I never thought about becoming a stripper).

So to say that a woman doesn't understand why cars can be fun is a HUGE insult. It just so happens that maybe there are better toys out there right now. And the economy sucks. And Hot Wheels have been around *4-EVA* that there are numerous hand-me-downs floating around. Oh? And why aren't moms playing with their sons 8 hours a day??? Because, asshole, while you're at work flirting with your secretary, playing video games on your computer, eating lunch with friends, scheduling very important golf matches with other executives, and getting your BMW detailed.... these "moms" are grocery shopping, cooking your dinner, cleaning up your dinner plate that you so lovingly left on the table the night before, scrubbing dishes, picking up dirty laundry, trying to get the shit stains out of your underwear, cleaning bathrooms, taking care of inevitably more than 1 child, making sure homework gets done, vacuuming the house, picking up your dry cleaning, AND POSSIBLY GOING TO WORK HERSELF TO PROVIDE A SECOND INCOME, to make your life easier. So the two hours of playtime should be sufficient. Why don't YOU come home from work and play with your sons (and yes, we are talking about only little boys finding Hot Wheels fun. I remember playing with my male friends when I was little and loving it), or instead of playing that round of golf on Saturday--set up a huge track and play with your kids? I guess these execs are also saying that stay-at-home-dads are to blame? Or are they acting as if they don't contribute to the loss in sales?

One last thing... moms don't understand how to play with Hot Wheels? They really think we're that stupid? I think it's pretty self-explanatory to place a car on a track and make a Vroom, Vroom noise.


So there you have it. Another male executive who wants to blame women for their own problems.

I'm off my soap box for now. My coffee mug is empty and baby E is sleeping....time to get a little workout in and then shower! Unless my little female brain can't figure out how to turn on the shower with all of those funny shaped knobs.