Growing up too...slow?

Lately I have found myself and K both saying things like, "I can't wait for him to be old enough to ride a dirt bike" and "If he were older we could go to the park today."

We constantly talk about all of the fun things we get to do with E when he's old enough to walk and talk and play. And it's going to be great! He doesn't realize how much fun he is going to have. We're blessed to be his parents, and he's pretty blessed to be our child. We have such big plans for him when he gets older...and not even plans like hoping he races stock cars as a profession or gets a full-ride scholarship to college. Our big plans for him are things like not being able to wait to take him on vacation; taking him to learn to ski; buying him his first dirt bike; going to little league games; letting him run around in the yard getting dirty; playing with toys...we can't even wait to give him a little brother or sister. Okay, we CAN technically wait for that. But we can't wait for the day when we're ready to give him a little sibling.

But all of this "can't waiting" has made me think ...by looking forward to so many things in the future, are we missing out on the present? Everyone tells me to take it all in now because he won't be little forever. And I'm trying, really. I'm with him 24/7 and spend the majority of the day holding him and talking to him. Sure most of the time I'm telling him things that we'll get to do when he gets old enough to do them, but I'm still interacting with him in the PRESENT.

I just want him older, damnit! Is that so wrong? I want to be able to talk to him and have him talk back to me...talk back with real words. Not his words that go something like this: Eeeeooowwww...Ey!...Shhcceeww....Ooohh.....Ehhh.....yyoowwww....Ha-uh-ah....Meuuhhh!....Waaaahhhh.... And I try to talk back the best I can, but he looks at me like I'm crazy and I swear one time I saw him roll his eyes. And now that we have a monitor with video and sound, I'm terrified K is going to come home from work, look at the parental unit monitor and hear me talking to him in baby talk! He already thinks I'm crazy, I don't need him to witness something that gives him a solid reason for thinking I'm crazy.

Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and stop wishing he was older. But I won't stop wishing he was old enough to sleep through the night. I won't do it and you can't make me.